Monday, August 4, 2008

My Italian replacement

This weekend my husband lost all interest in his me.

No, I didn't suddenly stop shaving my legs or stop showering.
And no, he hasn't riden off into the Tuscan countryside with a beautiful Italian woman that wears Louis Vuitton stilleto's while riding a scooter.

See, I try my best. After nine years together I still try to beautify myself with some makeup before he comes home. I cook dinner each night and I always let him have the good side of the bed. But nothing I do now will ever compare to his new love, the new Nikon SLR camera he bought on the weekend. Sigh.

Dear husband has had a flu for three weeks and I have been a dutiful wife who has lovingly ran to the chemist for medicine (ok it's only 30 metres away but I still went!), hand squeezed oranges to make fresh juice and cooked him chicken soup. But that all means nothing now.

On Sunday we decided to drive to Portofino for a day trip. SHE sat in his lap, he lovingly stroked her and I even think I heard the words 'I love you' come out of his mouth although he swears that was aimed at me. I doubt it though as he was looking at HER intently when he said it.

We'll see who looks after him next time he is sick in bed.

We had wanted to go to Portofino for a while as we been told it was beautiful. I don't know if our expectations were too high but we thought it didn't compare to the amazing Cinque Terre. It could have been that it was so stinking hot. Back home in Karratha it was not unusual to see a thermometer reading of 45 degrees celcius. So I don't know if it was the extra humidity or if I'm just getting OLD, but the heat really got to us in Portofino.

After we walked around the marina, we went to the nearby town Santa Margherita Ligure for lunch. But not before husband took a million photos with my new replacement. I must admit the view from the castello (castle) was truly beautiful. This was one of the million photos taken that day.

Here is an amazing boat moored up at the marina. Oh to be rich and beautiful in Portofino.

And here are some random innocent ducks that were not expecting someone to take twenty photos of them with different lenses. No one is safe from my husband's new hobby now.

And here is my foot, you get the picture now? Man, I have an ugly foot and a really weird tanline I'm going to have a foot complex.

Okay, this is not funny anymore. I'm trying to sleep now. Enough is enough. Turn off the camera. And why does my arm look so fat in this photo? Surely it's not the pasta and tiramisu I devour every night. Did you not get one of those lenses that makes everything look skinny?

Note what is next to me on the bed. Yep, it's the camera manual. Very romantic don't you think?


Anonymous said...

Hehehe...very funny!! Your foot is lovely by the way. xoxoxo Ange.

erin :: the olive notes said...

please please, someone magically transport me to Portofino! What a lovely time...the photos are wonderful, keep them coming :)

Anonymous said...

As I thought. I wide angle lens to fit the arm in. Told you the food and drink would finally catch up to you.

Leanne said...

At least you get to be in some of the photo's so he cannot have forgotten about you altogether!

And the heat here is so much different then in Australia. It gets hot in Melbourne too, but is never humid. I cannot stand the humid weather.

Sue said...

I have to admit, I am guilty of doing the same thing. I just LOVE my Nikon. I take it nearly everywhere I go...always making sure it is comfortably resting nearby, never left in the car to get too hot, always with a freshly charged battery...ah, just the thought of being somewhere gorgeous together, like Italy, makes my eyes twinkle!

By the way Monika, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to add your blog to my list of favorites.

Scintilla said...

G,day. I just found your blog. This post was really funny - are you really that nice to your husband!

Matt said...

I stumbled upon your blog searching for the Italian translation for G'day.
Entertaining blog, keep it up!
I've recently started one myself to document my world yoga journey.

Oh and tell him the Nikon is male and watch him come running back into your arms :)